I lost a lot more than just my income when I lost my job. I feel like I’ve lost some of my friends too. I mean, how do you go from talking to someone all day to not talking at all? Did you lose my phone number? My email address? Is the only way you can talk to me on Facebook? Maybe I’m overreacting, I’ll give you that. But I’ve been out of work for 3 weeks and in those 3 weeks I’ve spoken to my friends via phone not once. They don’t text me to see how I’m doing. I feel like I’m an outsider. Idk if it’s because I don’t have bbm anymore (blackberry messenger for you non-blackberry users) or what. But it’s not cool. I can’t get upset about it really. When people show you themselves all you can do is accept it. Sure we’ll speak if we see each other. Or if I come to them. But otherwise I guess I’m just the girl who used to work there. I don’t name names in my blog, I do initials or code names or something. But it’s like I felt like Bulfrano was a real friend. We had real conversations, we went out to eat lunch, we were friends. But I guess as long as we worked together that was the case. His brother lives in my apartment complex right across from me. I can see into his window, that’s how close he lives. And since losing my job I’ve seen Bulfrano twice and he’s never stopped by to say hey or called me or anything. It just hurts a little. I know that as I’ve grown up it’s been hard to keep up friendships, especially those from highschool, but I like to think that the friendships I’ve made as an adult would’ve had more staying power. I don’t expect to be involved and totally consumed into their world. They’re working and I don’t work there so we no longer have that in common. I guess I just hoped that this time would be different. It’s not. So I guess when I get my next job I’ll make a new set of friends and hope that maybe out of 5 so called “friendships” at least one of them is real and will last. Good thing I don’t define myself by my friendships.
Why would you write a blog about losing your friends you may ask? Well because I write blogs to express myself and if a friend reads it then it is what it is. I don’t embarass any friends or family in my blog bc I don’t call them out. Besides, if only I could be so lucky to have them read it to open their eyes. “It is what it is” is a phrase that Bulfrano used often. He didn’t show much emotion just kept it cut and dry. I’m trying to be more like that.