I’m ready to make the changes that I need to get my life back on track. If I’m honest with myself I would realize that my life really hasn’t been on track since I’ve been married. No the marriage doesn’t have anything to do with it. It was really before getting married. I was depressed after I lost my job at Embarq. And all of the hard work, all the early mornings, all the sacrifices that I made to achieve the body that I wanted….it all went down the drain. And it hasn’t been the same since. I’m tired of being on this hamster wheel. I can’t seem to kick my body into gear. I can’t seem to get out of the 230s and stay out. I’m taking control back right now. I just have to put in the hard work again and I don’t have any other options.
I think that when you fear something it manifests. I’ve always been afraid of failing. And it seems like that’s all I’ve been doing lately. In many aspects of my life. As a wife, as a mother, as an employee as everything. And I’m not going to keep going down this path. I have to switch roads. Get on another highway. Maybe that’s why I lost my job. Maybe I had to get so low to change my outlook. Change my perspective. It’s humbling. It’s aggravating. It’s what I needed. So no more will I fear failure. Without failure you won’t succeed. Most people don’t walk into their dream career right outta college. Most people don’t meet Mr. Right first, and if they do they don’t appreciate him because they haven’t experienced Mr. Wrong. Most people don’t lose weight the very first try. It takes a few times at falling first. I’ve exceeded my times falling.
So today I’m taking it back. Taking back my life. I am not happy and I have to change that. Now is not the time to be sitting on my tail. I know I’m going to the beach next month so I need to do what I can to make myself feel better about how I look in my swimsuit. I want to wear something really nice for our wedding anniversary in October. My birthday and Jordan’s birthday is in November and so is the hubby’s high school reunion. My goal is by the end of the year.