I’ve been in denial for about a year now about my weight. As hard as I worked to get it off of me, you would think that as it began to creep back on that I would have nipped it in the bud and would be as happy as a clam.
You’d be wrong. Very wrong.
Instead I have lamented the extra pounds each time I needed to get dressed.
Each time that I put my jeans on and they left me with no breathing room.
Each time that my roomy “fat pants” became my “go-to” pants.
Each time that I realized I don’t have enough clothes to make it through my work week because I can no longer fit my clothes.
Each time that I thought, it would be so much easier to just buy maternity pants.
Each time I cursed myself under my breath because clearly me and my laziness has allowed all of this poundage to come back. As if that’s where I want to be right now.
So after days, weeks, and months of feeling like this… I decided that I had to buy some pants.
On my lunch break the other day, I ventured over to Burlington Coat Factory because clearly I don’t want to buy expensive pants, I just need something for the moment and if I can get a nice pair of pants for under $20 I’d be satisfied.
To be honest I need a full wardrobe. Everything from shoes to pants to jeans to shirts to dresses to handbags to accessories to underclothes… I need it all right now. But I really just needed to be practical and get a pair of pants and maybe a sweater since it’s starting to turn cold.
It’s very rare for me to try on clothes in store and this was no exception. I found a sweater that was a Junior’s size Large and I found a pair of cute dark gray slacks in size 12. I held them up to eyeball the fit.
These better work I thought to myself as I purchased them and headed back to work.
When I got home I tried on the sweater and it fits more like a dress…but it’s bigger on me than I expected which was a good boost for the ego. It would probably go great with leggings or skinny jeans with a nice tall boot.
I actually didn’t try on the pants until the next morning when I was getting ready for work. They fit me perfectly!!! I was so happy! I was able to delight in that moment.
You know how if you’ve ever lost a good amount of weight you have a weight that you refuse to let yourself go back to? Sometimes it can be a clothing size… well for me the weight is 200lbs and the size is 14. I stepped on the scale a couple of months back and was devastated when it had me at around 192 when I had been holding steady all year around 185. I haven’t stepped back on it since. I have no size 14 clothing to wear so we’re definitely gonna be up the creek if I don’t rein this back in.
So for the size 12’s to fit me was very encouraging. : )
I have got to get my life together in so many areas but this is a big one. I worked way too hard to get the weight off before and I deserve to be happy in all areas of my life. It’s gonna take some hard work and discipline but I’ve done it before and will do it again. Besides, it would be nice to get a few pounds off so that I can enjoy some fall clothing. I am really wanting a couple of cute fall plaid shirts this season. : )
Anyways—I used to say anyways instead of anyway lol — I wanted to end on this note…I saw this pic on twitter or Instagram, I don’t recall…maybe twitter…not that it’s super important, jeez. But I saw this pic and instantly I said I want to be the slim girl. I’m not ashamed to say that. Honestly I want to be a solid size 6 sometimes a 4 depending on the brand. 136lbs is my dream weight…not my goal weight, but my dream weight. Anyhoot…I’m just rambling now so…thanks for reading!! : )